There are so many things that our children can only learn from us growing up, that shape most of their personalities going forward. We, as mothers have a strong influence on our kids as they enter a world that is much larger than we lived in as children. While all the values and morals we teach them are very important, there are some other things that they need to hear from us every step of their journey. Those words, coming from us will mean the world to them. The kind of words they will trust to be true, blindly. The ones that will make them fall back on us whenever they hit a wall in life. And while they embark on a journey we might not understand, it could get harder to say these words but deep inside we’ll know its for the best to always say them.
Today , below I want to share with you the things my mother always said to me and my brother while growing up. The 5 things that your children need to hear from you, ALWAYS!!
1. “I Love You!” – This one is a no-brainer. These are the words they ought to hear from us first and always. As children, they tend to look at themselves through our eyes. As they grow up and are exposed to so many experiences that could sometimes put them down, they will learn to love themselves in spite of everything.
2. “You’re the most beautiful, humble, and kind person I know” – Its always good to tell our kids that they’re beautiful inside and out. As a kid, I was so conscious about my glasses. My mom said “you’re so beautiful with your full lips and your fat glasses and your smile, you’re the most beautiful girl on the planet and don’t let anyone tell you any different.” Teaching our children to accept themselves and to be their own kind of beautiful is so vital to the person they will become. And the other adjectives follow.
3. “You deserve the best and you’ll know it when it is” – They need to know that the best is waiting out there for them and that they deserve all the wonderful things life has to offer. Its only possible to say this when we can believe it… only when we are willing to look at the brighter side of things as well. These words mean we’re raising standards but these words also mean one day, we’ll have to take a back seat and let them judge what they deserve.
4. “I will stand by you in every walk of life no matter what” – This is, for obvious reasons the most difficult, yet the most empowering thing our kids need to hear from us always and in every step of their journey. Ever been best friends with mom and dad? If you were , you’d know the kind of transparency you had with them and how you waited to come back from school and tell them every little detail of what happened. The kind of friendship every parent wants with their kid. Though there are going to be rough patches of cold war between us and sometimes wars that just never seem to end, we still can’t live without sharing everything with them. From my personal experience, I can tell you that even if we did not agree on something, saying these magical words first, will make space for a constructive healthy reasoning between us. Whether we put it in other words or the same, they need to know this and hear this, every little step they take.
5. “You can!”- Who needs more than one push ? Our kids!! (My mom used to say I needed an air pump session every other week😂 ) We constantly need to remind our kids how wonderful and talented they are. How uniquely they can face challenges big or small. How well they can handle situations. Its natural for our children to come to us for reassurance. They need us to hand-hold them sometimes and thats okay too. All said and done, one emotion thats leads our children through childhood is TRUST ! And these words say just that. And lets remember that these words do not say “you must”. They only say “you can”.
They can make do just fine without surprise parties and expensive presents but these words will make their day, their life!
Meet you again with another post , another day. 🙋♀️